Analysis of student writing 3

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One day, a young woman comes to Hospital. And I tell her about Merrick. And she goes his home. She smiles to him. This day is first he has a friend. He has lots of friends at once. People know him by newspaper. So they want to see him. One day, he meets Queen of England. And she is also his friend. She exchanges the letters with Merrick. One day, he watches the theater. He likes to talk about it after he watches that. One day, he says to me "Dr Treves, I want to go to country, please?" It is difficult to visit him to country. But I do that. He likes there. In the country, he gives a letter to me. He comes back to London at the end of the summer. Six months later, in April 1890, I find him dead in bed. I talk to him first, but he doesn’t move. Then I see that the skin on his face is blue. So I know that he is dead. I think his huge and heavy head comes off the bed. So his neck is broken by that. So he dies. Next day the chairman of the London Hospital tells to people that Joseph Merrick dies. [General analysis]