Analysis of student writing 4

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Mary was born with a limp so she walked very strangely, but Mary got a job in the city as a servant for a restaurant so she could earn some money because she lived alone. One day Mary got pushed onto the road, in front of the elephants walking on the street, because she wanted to see the show which was in Leicester at the time and she went into the front and got pushed onto the road, just in front of an elephant which nearly crushed her as flat as a pancake, on the street. But she escapes and gets out of the street as fast as she could. One day Mr. Treves was walking down the street when he suddenly sees a very ugly picture of a creature that wasn’t man or woman. He read some writing under it and saw you could go see the creature in the store for only 2 pence. The creature lived in a small, dirty and smelling room behind the shop and looked so ugly so you felt sick, it had giant legs and arms except for his left hand which was lovely and looked like a beautiful young ladies hand. [General analysis]